Leslie Sansone, dahling! You haven't changed a bit!
I mean, my lands! Last time I walked with you, you were so smiley and bubbly and energetic...and so young looking. Three years later, you look absolutely the same! How do you do it?
As for me, well...I am sure, as you look out from your"Walk Off The Pounds" DVD into my darkened living room so early this Monday morn, you can tell I've been a bit of a slacker when it comes to exercise.
I meant well. I really did. I bought your DVD at Wally World in October 2007 with every good intention of hopping out of bed at 5 a.m. each day and walking away those pounds...
But you know what they say about good intensions, Les: the road to hell is absolutely PAVED with them, dahling. As I recall, we walked together for about a good, oh, gee, a good, long week. And then I shelved you. Inadvertently, of course. One day I could not remember where I put my resistance band, and that's all it took.
The chink was in the warm-up suit.
But, alas! I am back! Older, heavier...look up sedentary in your Wikipedia and there is my mug shot. Guilty as charged.
But it is a new year! 2011! And I am determined to get in better shape...and I mean it this time.
I made it two miles with you this morning! WooHoo! And with the sound all the way down as to not wake my sleeping family. Thanks to the tinnitis in my left ear, however, and the accompanying hearing loss, I have become quite good at reading lips. So I didn't miss one bit of your incessant yammering, er, encouraging words.
I think I scared my cat, though, as she just stood in front of me yowling as I marched in place and swung my arms and kicked my legs...basically moved body parts that haven't really moved much in at least 1,095 days.
Speaking of days, I promise I will be back to see you tomorrow a.m. Leslie! I only have 140 days till my son graduates from high school. And if my son, my husband and I (dragging along my portable morphine drip and a giant box of Kleenex) are to all fit down the gymnasium aisle to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance, I have a little bit o' slimming down to do.
But right now I must enjoy a quick breakfast of two Alleve followed by a soy milk chaser and bowl of Special K. With berries.