THE BEE'S KNEES

Gotta love the gloves

Hey, all you hot flasshing menopausal mamas out there!

Tired od dry hands?

Poops. Hold on a sex.

There. That's better.

Please excuse the above typos.  Forgot to take off my adorable new Burt's Bees Healthy Hands Cotton Gloves before I started blogging this morning.

Yeah, I slept with them on.  They are just so comfy -- cute to boot -- and my hands are just so lusciously soft in the morning...

Desperate to find some relief for my dry, cracked, haggard-looking hands, I decided to try Burt's Bee's Almond Milk Beeswax Hand Creme, Lemon Butter Cuticle Creme and Shea Butter Hand Repair Creme...bought them as a set, the sensible-yet-stylish bee-adorned intense nighttime treatment gloves included. What a honey of a purchase!

Couldn't wait to get home, slather it all on, and sport my new gloves.

Seems I do a lot of slathering of late. At 54, it's become a routine. All at night, under the cover of darkness. Better that way, I suppose.

Ladies, remember back in our teenage years how we used to don our bikinis, cover ourselves in Baby Oil, and then bake in the sun from 10 a.m. till 2 p.m. every day in  the summer?

Yes, well, payin' the price now, aren't we?

Whatever it takes

A gallon of Johnson's Baby Oil a day barely keeps the scaly winter skin away.

Last night I decided to go whole hog.  Drenched my bod in baby oil,  slid into my winter woolies and a pair of John's old socks. Slapped on my old shower cap, pasted on an adult acne/wrinkle facial masque.  Bathed my hands in beeswax, donned the bee gloves. I woulda popped a couple of cold cucumber slices on my tired, puffy peepers, if I had any. Settled for a cold wash cloth instead.

An hour later? Slimy. Smaller pimples. Soggy eyes. And really soft hands.

Left those sweet little gloves on all night just for good measure.

Menopause.

It's the bee's knees.