I was born, I swear, with a black bar across my face, lest I am recognized as I suffer the shame sure to be heaped upon me each time I dress for the day and walk out into any public venue.
Fashion sense and I have never been fast friends. I still shudder as I recall shopping for a dress for my 5th high school class reunion...
I was in a little dress shop in Carroll, Iowa. I found what I thought was this adorable blue dress and slipped it on over my head, looked in the mirror, and thought. "Oh, yeah. This is the one!"
Imagine my shock and dismay when I stepped out of the dressing room to get my husband's opinion on the dress and the store owner let go with a loud guffaw that still rings in my ears to this very day...
"Honey! You've got that dress on backwards!"
Hence, my early bird start on figuring out what in the world to wear when I meet and greet Justin Hayward and The Moody Blues in June. (See earlier blog posts below if you are not hip to what all this fuss of mine is about.)
Now, I know enough not to choose a taffeta ball gown and sparkling tiara, though there was a time that might have been my first choice. For you see, I do not take meeting famous people lightly. Yes, I know they put their pants on one leg at a time just like us peons. But, blame it on my recurring delusions of grandeur, I want to make a memorable impression on them.
And that explains the hours I, an award-winning news reporter at the time, took my precious time picking out the perfect little gift for Jessica Lange when they filmed "Country" back in the day near Waterloo. I got to spend some time on the set, and really wanted to meet her. She grabbed the gift outta my hand, laughed and said, "I accept gifts but I don't talk to people," and sashayed off into the cold, grey Iowa morn. But that's another story.
Anyway...I wasn't all that worried about what to wear when I knew I was going to get to meet Bono in Stuart, Iowa, on his way to Iowa City for a concert because I was never a U2 fan. Of course I only had less than a day to prepare. Nonetheless, I made sure I had my picture taken with him before we bid adieu.
Way back in the day, I made sure I got my picture taken twice with Michael McDonald of then Doobie Brothers fame...and he did say, with a chuckle, on our second meeting after a concert, "Oh, yeah. You are that woman with the camera." I have no clue what I was wearing that night. Jeans and some groovy shirt, I imagine.
I look absolutely horrible in the picture I had taken with Robert Kennedy, Jr. at the hog summit in Clear Lake, Iowa in April 2002. I look portly and windblown. But then, how does one dress for a hog summit? I dunno. Anyway...Mr. Kennedy made a point to tell me he had read my story pertaining to factory hog farms and their effect on our health and environment, and it was a fine piece of investigative journalism, and he mentioned it during his speech.
I was on Cloud 9 for weeks.
So here I am, planning way ahead for the big -- and rather costly, I might add -- meet and greet with The Moody Blues (my first pre-arranged meet and greet), and I want the evening to be perfect. I want to look great and feel young. I want to savor every minute, every musical note, every nuance there is to savor. For I dare say the chances of ever being even slightly up close and personal with Justin Hayward again are highly remote.
Timing, of course, is everything, so considering I will be attending the meet and greet roughly 24 hours after landing back in Iowa after five days in Cinci for my 35th high school class reunion, it is safe to presume that I will already have lost 40 pounds, had a facial, a mani and pedi, my hair cut and colored, and I am sure to be sporting a fake tan. Can't afford botox injections, though, cuz I just blew my life's savings on the dang meet and greet tickets.
So all that is left to decide, really, is what to wear? What is an aging, fashion senseless, menopausal albeit diehard Moody Blues fan to wear?
Only meet and greet fashionistas need reply.