"Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." ~ Gilda Radner

Sunday, July 08, 2012


July 8th.

Three years ago today.

Words don't come easy for such a solemn observance, but I believe Daniel expressed it as best any of us can...

Still impossible to comprehend it all even after three years. Love you Casey.

Oh, Casey, how we all miss you so much!

 Irrepressible, smiling, fun-loving you!

So many remembrances. So bittersweet. The Crusader football scoreboard that bears your name. Lovable #85.   A tree planted on school grounds in your memory. The sports-themed memorial in the front yard of the Coon Rapids United Methodist Church where you were confirmed. The new Crusader Baseball batting cage, recently dedicated, your picture a promise that your "Put me in, Coach!" spirit is ever present. Unforgettable #6.

And The Game, Daniel's riveting YouTube documentary. His heart-and-soul-etched  tribute to you, his best friend and fellow CRB Crusader, and the thrilling 8-man football game played in your memory. You were the ninth man on the field that night, Casey. Our angel in the end zone.

One of my favorite fun memories of you:  Christmas 2008 when you surprised me with a pizza cutter because you just couldn't believe we insisted on cutting our pizzas with scissors. Smiling at the memory.

That pizza cutter is now hung by a red ribbon from one of the top branches of our Christmas tree each year. It's always the last ornament to go up and the last to come down. Impossible to look at it, touch it, display it, pack it away without pausing to reflect...

But the stark reality is, when we lose someone we love so dearly so suddenly, the world at large just keeps turning, expecting us to keep moving along with it, though our world as we knew it mere seconds earlier comes to an abrupt, irrevocable halt. Such overwhelming grief. So weak with sorrow, we cannot move.

Yet time insists on pulling us along, unwillingly, one foot reluctantly placed, shaking, in front of the other. Left foot. Right foot.We must remind ourselves to breathe.

Somehow, with the loving support of family and friends, we begin to move forward a little bit further each day.  With thoughts of our loved one tucked safely away in a tiny, slowly healing corner of our hearts, endless sorrow eventually submits to cherished memory where our loved one lives on.

July 8th.

Yes, three years later, our hearts still ache. But we dig deep, muster our resolve and move ever forward, Casey with us always.

Thinking of you, Casey.  Love you, Daniel.

Hugs for everyone struggling with this emotionally delicate day.

Hold tight the precious memories.

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