A) No Money
B) No Kevlar Vest
What IS this sick world coming to when folks are getting gunned down while Christmas shopping? And in Omaha no less.
Geezle Peets...
Yeah, the ol' Bah! Humbug! really has me in its grip this year...
Usually, no matter how disappointing or frustrating or emotionally draining a year I may have had, decorating the Christmas tree brings a smile to my face, and I feel contented and hopeful and one with the universe...
I mean, since I can remember, we have always gone out and chopped down our own tree and dragged it home, munched on Christmas cookies and sipped hot apple cider while my dear hubby struggles to get the tree to stand straight, and then we recite a litany of warm and fuzzy memories per each dated Hallmark ornament...then Daniel and I camp out under the beautifully bedecked tannenbaum -- ok, near the beautifully bedecked tannenbaum -- and for the next few weeks I am filled with heartwarming Christmas spirit...life is good!
This year, however, due to inclement weather and withered income, we opted to skip the tree hunt and borrow my mother-in-law's artificial tree...these days, hot apple cider gives me the trots, and the Christmas cookies we made earlier this week are long gone...so we munched on cold pizza and potato chips instead...
Sadly, we no longer can recall the stories behind each dated Hallmark ornament...1987...let's see...was that the year I had back surgery...or was that 1988? No, 1988 was the last year I won the Cedar Falls Police Media Award... or was that the year I learned silk flower arranging during the annual Wal-Mart Management Convention Spouse Activities?
And even if we did remember, who really cares at this point?
Daniel obviously doesn't because once he got the lights on the tree tonight, he was off texting and IMing and doing whatever else teenage boys do...I think he hung one ornament on the tree. Hubby was busy making hamburger patties to put in the freezer. And frankly, the artificial tree, while it looks nice, just doesn't do it for me...I gaze at the tree and I am filled with...nothing. Zilch. Nada.
Nor do I have any desire to sleep near the damn thing. And I dare say that camping near the Christmas tree with Mom is the last thing on Daniel's mind.
Heavy, weary sigh.
Oh, I did feel a slight tug at my heart strings when I pulled out the ol' pic of Daniel dressed as a candycane for his very first Christmas concert when he was in kindergarten...but it only hammered home the fact that Christmas just isn't the same when they're 14 1/2 as when they were 4.
And I swear I am going to take a hammer to the TV the next time I see that nauseating ad where the wife walks out the door to find her husband standing next to the shiny new Lexus he just bought her for Christmas.
Puh-leese. How realistic is that? Now, if she walked out the door and he handed her an Ove Glove (only $14.95 As Seen On TV!)...THAT I could relate to...or a Chia Pet, perhaps...
I know. I know.
It's a wonderful life...
But I'm just not feelin' it this year.
Not yet, anyway...
1 comment:
i bet if we had a few drinks it would feel like a real christmas tree better yet a few more and we could pass out under the tree. the power of the drink. just an idea!
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