"Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." ~ Gilda Radner

Saturday, July 30, 2011


But hope springs eternal.

And that, folks, is what keeps me going back to the Health and Beauty Aids department at Wally World.

Sure, I said I was going there to buy some towels and other dorm "necessities" for Daniel. And I did peruse the laundry aisle for a good deal on a clothes basket for him. But I would be less than honest if I didn't mention I spent the lyin', er, lion's share of my time at the big box store searching out a new mascara.  And a new hairspray.  And a new bronzer.

Just felt like changin' it up a bit.

Besides, the Cover Girl Eyelights mascara I had bought a month ago had NOT given me the smokey-eyed look of actress Drew Barrymore no matter how hard I tried to follow the application directions.  So today I bought Maybelline Volume Express Mascara instead -- the kind that is supposed to instantly make your real lashes look as full as the false ones.

Right.  Wink. Wink.

Meanwhile, it was a toss up between purchasing another can of Dove Damage Therapy Extra Hold Hairspray ('tis a sad day, indeed, when our hair requires therapy, too... but I digress),  a can of Tresemme European Tres Two Extra Hold,  or Aussie Aussome Volume Hair Spray.

Having been a big fan of Aussie Sprunch Spray back in my get-a-perm-every-three-months days, I opted for the Aussie hair spray with that cute little kangaroo on the front of the can.Besides, I love a hair product with a dry wit and a pragmatic attitude.

But don't take my word for it.  Just compare the directions for use on the back of the Dove and Aussie hair spray cans.

Dove Damage Therapy Extra Hold Hairspray:  Directions: Hold can 8-10 inches from hair. Spray evenly over hair. If dispenser clogs, rinse in warm water.

Really?  What happens if I am in a hurry and can't find my ruler and accidentally hold the can say, 7 and  1/2  to 10 and 1/2 inches from my hair, and my arm is tired and I spray it a skosh unevenly? Then what? My hair looks like crap, becomes depressed and needs further therapy?

And I have to worry about the dispenser clogging, too?

I obviously don't have the math skills or the time for that hairspray.

And now, Aussey Aussome Volume Hairspray: DIRECTIONS: It's hair spray. You spray it on your hair. 


Boom. Done.

I can handle that. Oh, yeah, baby, gonna add some roo to my do as the Aussie hair product spiel goes. Oh, those Aussies...

What's that?  Aussie Aussome Volume Hair Spray with the cute little kangaroo on the front of the can does not come from Australia? Surely, you jest, luv?

Nope. No jesting.

Aussie Aussome Volume Shampoo is made in the good old US of A. Distributed by Redmond Product Inc. located in my beloved Cincinnati, OH. Nowhere near Australia. Dang.

Oh, well.  I can live with that. For now.

But, our national debt ceiling crisis coming to an ugly head as it is, I cannot live with health and beauty products made in China. Hence, my refusal to buy the Hard Candy Tiki Bronzer that I was about to toss in my Wally World cart.

First and foremost, just in case the country does default on its debts, I don't want China's repo man comin' for my bronzer as I am getting ready for work Monday morning.

Secondly, Tiki really isn't my color.

Chose the Rimmel Natural Bronzer  (Sun Light) instead.

Yes, I know. That's Rimmel London. Made in England. Allegedly. But I have doubts cuz underneath the words "NATURAL BRONZER" on the front of the compact is the phrase "poudre bronzante".

That's French. For "powder tanning".

Who knew?

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