So I was chillin' with my friend Gloria the other afternoon (I call her Glo for short), and she generously offered to swing by my house some Saturday and check out my feng shui...
I figured,"why not?"
I mean, hell's bells, Mabel, a little feng shui overhaul just might be the key to improving daily life at The Homestretch household.
Admittedly, I know very little-- nothing, really -- about feng shui-- but considering how my life generally goes, I am sure its off kilter and needs adjusting.
Glo said something about my relationship corner, and my financial corner...something about taking two pics --one of me and one of John -- facing them toward each other and binding them together by wrapping a red ribbon around them 99 times (exactly why 99 times as opposed to say, 98 or 100, she didn't say), and placing them in the relationship corner of my house.
I'm game. What could it hurt?
Of course, if I understood Glo correctly (and chances are, I did not) my relationship corner is, like, in Daniel's room...and he might not quite "get" the whole feng shui mom-and-dad-pic-wrapped-in-a-red-ribbon dangling from a corner of his ceiling or whatever.
Of course, I could stash the pic under his bed (which is in a corner) and, based on the number of empty Gatorade bottles, dirty undrwear and stinky football socks that are usually taking up residency there, the pic would most likely go unnoticed for years...
I would even go so far as to say that the pic would probably sit there, quietly, unobtrusively doing its feng shui thing under DJ's bed for DECADES unless, for some strange reason, Daniel got an extremely wild hair and decided to thoroughly clean his room...
But I digress.
As for my financial feng shui, there is, as Glo explained it, something about taping a $100 bill under your desk...the desk, of course, must be in the financial corner of your house.
Firstly, I'm a'thinkin' there ain't no financial corner in our house.
Secondly, if there is a $100 bill to be found anywhere near our house, I won't be affixing it to the bottom of my desk. The blood-sucking Municipal Utilities will be getting it. Or the blood-sucking mortgage people. Or the blood-sucking home owners insurance people.
Yet again, I digress.
At any rate, I can't wait to hear what Glo has to say after evaluating my feng shui...if nothing else, it will most likely mean an afternoon of rearranging my living room, which is always a good time...and GREAT therapy.