Oct. 21, 1969.
After four decades, I can no longer recall the sound of my mother's voice. I can no longer recall the sound of her laugh.
What I do remember is that she had a great sense of humor, and her friends regularly turned to her for advice. My mother was a registered nurse. Her favorite soap opera was As The World Turns. She boycotted lettuce in support of the underpaid lettuce growers in the 60s. She loved reading and acting. My mother never learned to drive. She enjoyed playing bridge and Monopoly. She was a good cook.
I remember she let me stay home from school once when I was in the fourth grade. I wasn't sick, she just let me stay home with her. I think now that I was her safety net that day...
In my mother's absence o'er these many years, I have been blessed with the love of and nurturing by several special "other mothers", including my wonderful mother-in-law... the most wonderful friends... and of course, my guardian-angel-on earth, my ever lovin' sister. So I have much to be thankful for.
Granted, I have struggled with several emotional issues. All motherless daughters do, to one degree or another.
And then, of course, there is the issue of Mother's Day. Until I had Daniel, Mother's Day was THE worst day of the year. Every spring, surrounded by reminders of how special the mother-daughter relationship is, but unable to spend time with my own Mom or give her a gift...
According to Ms. Edelman, however, we motherless daughters have our own "gifts".
We have, she says, the courage to "journey alone." Courage born of necessity, I would add.
Actually, truth be known, I come from a long line of motherless daughters.
My mother lost her mother when she was four years old. My grandfather later married a woman who had lost her mom when she was five.
Even my stepmother (my dad remarried a year or so after my mom died) lost her mom at a young age.
Psychologists say that for motherless daughters, living beyond the age our mothers died is "living dangerously," and we often feel driven to make the most of that time. Hence, many of the most celebrated and driven women of our time are motherless daughters...
Love you, Mom! Miss you...