Monday, December 31, 2007
FAST AWAY THE OLD YEAR PASSES
Etc., Etc.
Yes, it's another exciting New Year's Eve at our house...in a few minutes we are going downstairs to that hellhole we call a basement and start going through the gazillion totes that contain the remnants of our lives.
In other words, we are spending New Year's Eve cleaning the basement.
Can you think of anything more fun than that to ring out the old year?
Now, I am not the first to consider cleaning out the old to welcome in the new...I have a friend who every New Year's Eve cleans out his closets. That's his tradition. And that may very well explain why said friend's wife left him a few years back...
But I digress.
To be fair, there is something to be said for starting the New Year off clean and organized...why, just last night we cleaned the oven, the refrigerator and the kitchen floor -- and I even made sure to change the kitty litter...we all got new undies and socks for Christmas, and the dog is sporting her new "diamond" studded collar and matching leash...and there are crisp, white flour sack dish towels in the kitchen drawer...
Dear God, could my life be any more boring?
Anyway...
I suppose we could have gone to the fire department's dinner and dance at the community building tonight...but since I've eaten my way to outer Slabovia and back since starting my new, somewhat stressful job, my jeans are a tad tight and I really don't feel like dancing.
Which leads me to the next New Year's tradition -- resolutions.
Yes, of course I will be dieting in 2008 -- has there ever been a year I haven't had to lose weight?
Oy.
And I always vow to be more organized.
I'll never forget the Christmas John gave the book Becoming Organized Based on the Proverbs 31 Woman or something equally as ridiculous.
Hand me another glass of wine, would you dear?
Thanks.
Anyway, where was I?
Ah, yes, New Year's Eve. The night I imagine everyone in the world but me having a splendiferous time, dressed to the nines, kicking up their heels...and I'm at home, too tired to even stay up along enough to watch the ball drop.
Of course, even staying up to watch the ball drop is a bit of a yawner because when the ball drops on Times Square, it's only 11 o'clock in Iowa.
That always reminds me of the New Year's Eve back in the day when my Sis and I were single and dateless and living in Davenport and had nothing to do but don party hats and clang pots and pans together at midnight -- Iowa time -- from her apartment balcony.
Another glass of wine, dear. Please. Hurry.
Thanks.
Let's see, where was I?
That's ranks right up there with the New Year's Eve my senior year in high school when I dropped my zit concealer in the toilet while freshening up in the host's bathroom just moments before midnight. I was so busy trying to fish the little metal cosmetic container out of the toilet, I missed midnight completely.
Good times, good times.
Well, those totes are a callin'....
Cheers!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
SHOULD OLD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT...
Well, should they?
I suppose it depends on just who the old acquaintance happens to be, and other circumstances surrounding the acquaintanceship.
I mean, it goes without saying that one should never forget their old pals, their old cronies, their old partners in crime...but if ye old acquaintance you're toying with bringing to mind this New Year's Eve happens to be ye old love interest, that may well be a horse's auld lang arse of a different color.
In that case, err on the side of caution...it's probably best if you don't bring him or her to mind. And for God's sake, don't Google said old love interest. Or, maybe, bring him or her to mind, Google away, even...hell, track down his or her phone number if you must (just for shucks and grins)... but puh-leeeese don't make the call.
However, if you bring the old love interest to mind, Google away, track down his or her phone number, and feel absolutely compelled to call said old love interest, for God's sake, make the call when you are sober as a judge.
In other words, NO DRUNK DIALING!
Especially on New Year's Eve.
You heard me. Step away from the cell phone, particularly if you've had a a few too many...
I know, I know....it seems so harmless, just calling that old love interest at the stroke of midnight...that ball is falling on Times Square and you're awash in nostalgia and thinking " I jusht wanna shay Happy New Year...ish that sho bad?"
Yup. It really ish sho bad.
Let's face it, there's a reason you never hear about people "sober dialing". No one dares to ring in the New Year by ringing up an old love interest unless they're dialing from somewhere deep in the heart of Margaritaville.
And there is nothing worse than waking up New Year's Day with a hang over AND a bad case of Drunk Dialer's Remorse.
Or so I've heard.
Bottom line is, friends don't let friends drunk dial. Especially on New Year's Eve.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Once upon a midnight clear, there was a child's cry, a blazing star hung over a stable, and wise men came with birthday gifts. We haven't forgotten that night down the centuries. We celebrate it with stars on Christmas trees, with the sound of bells, and with gifts.
But especially with gifts. You give me a book, I give you a tie. Aunt Martha has always wanted an orange squeezer and Uncle Henry can do with a new pipe. For we forget nobody, adult or child. All the stockings are filled, all that is, except one. And we have even forgotten to hang it up. The stocking for the child born in a manger. Its his birthday we're celebrating. Don't let us ever forget that.
Let us ask ourselves what He would wish for most. And then, let each put in his share, loving kindness, warm hearts, and a stretched out hand of tolerance. All the shinning gifts that make peace on earth.
~ The Ending Sermon From One of My All-Time Favorite Christmas Movies, "The Bishop's Wife"
Monday, December 24, 2007
FROM MY HEART TO YOURS
With love and fondest memories this holiday season to my faithful friends who remain dear to me now and forever...thanks for reading The Homestretch!
Monday, December 17, 2007
A Dark Day For Die-Hard Romantics
Singer Dan Fogelberg dead at 56. Prostate cancer. He'd been battling it for three years.
"He didn't rely on the volume of his voice to convey his emotions; instead, they came through in the soft, tender delivery and his poignant lyrics," reported Yahoo news. "Songs like "Same Old Lang Syne" — in which a man reminisces after meeting an old girlfriend by chance during the holidays — became classics not only because of his performance, but for the engaging story line, as well."
Engaging story line, indeed. "Same Old Lang Syne" is the quintessential anthem, really, for die-hard romantics...
Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve.
I know. I know. Just a few posts ago I complained that the local soft rock radio station had played just about enough Same Old Lang Syne. That I'd had my fill of that Christmas song, thank you very much.
I was lying.
She didn't recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried.
Truth is, of all Dan Fogelberg's greatest hits, Same Old Syne is my absolute favorite. I crank it up when it comes on the radio and I am tooling along in the car...the best part of the local rock station playing 24/7 Christmas music is that Same Old Lang Syne gets played a lot...even tho' the song is guaranteed to make me weep -- and occasionally wince.
We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totaled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged.
I would even go so far as to say that Same Old Lang Syne is right up there with The Way We Were in my book of all-time favorite songs from back in the day...
We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn't find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
I don't know how often, in real life, former lovers just happen to run into each other at the grocery store. I do know of some instances, however, where people have gone to great lengths to find and reunite with their lost loves. There are books written about the subject...web sites dedicated to reuniting lost loves that chronicle the good, the bad and the ugly that can and does ensue when former lovers revisit the past.
It is a storyline that is not only engaging, but is as old as romance itself. Same Old Lang Syne is just one of those songs that tears at one's heart strings.
She said she'd married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would have liked to say she loved the man
But she didn't like to lie.
Have you ever wondered what ever happened to that special someone you knew once upon a time, long, long ago? Or, have you ever wondered if that special someone from back in the day ever wonders what happened to you?
I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I
Saw doubt or gratitude.
She said she saw me in the record stores
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was hell.
I recently read in AARP Magazine (yes, AARP Magazine) that the new mid-life crisis for us Baby Boomers is coming to terms with the road not taken, as it were...wrestling with that "R" word. You know...regret.
According to the AARP article, the "Hit Parade" or five most common life regrets involve education (one's misgivings about not attending college or grad school); career (misgivings regarding one's chosen field), romance (long-lost loves, unrequited affections, ill-advised affairs and marriages gone sour); family (not spending enough time with one's children or making poor child care choices); and the self (disappointment in one's own abilities, attitudes and behaviors.)
Have you ever wondered, regarding any particular life passage, what if...?"
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Reliving in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne...
"Make the most of your regrets," Henry David Thoreau once advised. "To regret deeply is to live afresh."
The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away
The AARP article also notes that a life without regrets is not a realistic answer for most of us, that, after all, the hard-earned lessons of our sins and slip-ups make us who we are. " 'Maybe all one can do,' as playwright Arthur Miller once wrote, 'is hope to end up with the right regrets.' "
Some interesting food for thought for those of us entering the Regretting Years, as we now and again feel what the article describes as "the sharp sting of regret" that teaches us where we went wrong.
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain...
Thank you, Dan Fogelberg, for Same Old Lang Syne.
Of course, from this day forward, Same Old Syne will never be the same for us die-hard romantics. Knowing Dan is gone, the song will seem even more poignant.
Inevitably, hearing that song, that soft, tender voice, will invoke even more weeping, more wincing, more tearing at the heart strings, than usual.
Oy.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Yet Another Man From My Misspent Youth...
What's that? What am I blathering on about NOW, you ask? You mean you MISSED Ice Cream & Violins Day? ( Which, as most savvy bizarre holiday-observing bloggers realize, is every Dec. 13).
OK. I'll be honest with you. I had no idea this past Thursday was Ice Cream & Violins Day either, though that may explain my mysterious hankerin' for a dollop of Cookies & Cream while chillin' to a stack of Stravinsky platters on the ol' hi-fi. (translated, that means I felt like relaxing with a bowl of ice cream while listening to some old Stravinsky records on my stereo.)
Anyway, as I contemplate how one might actually go about celebrating Ice Cream and Violins Day (an odd pairing, in my opinion...are revelers expected to eat ice cream and play a violin at the same time?), I can't help but think about a very special man from back in the day -- a man who embodied the best there ever was about soft-serve ice cream.
That's right.
Mister Softee.
I can still hear the Mister Softee jingle blaring from his truck as he rounded the bend at the end of our block throughout the hazy, lazy, mid-to-late summer afternoonof my misspent youth...how, like kiddies lured away by the sweet music of the Pied Pieper, we'd drop whatever we were doing, beg our moms for a nickel (or was it a dime? Or was it 75 cents but my memory is dimming?), and run like bloody hell to the curb to buy a Mister Softee ice cream cone (vanilla with chocolate jimmies, AKA "sprinkles", was my fave). Our greatest fear was that Mister Softee would speed off in his trusty truck before we made it to the curb.
Did you know there's actually sheet music with all the words to the Mister Softee jingle? Oh, yeah, baby. To take a gander at the sheet music, find out more about the cone man with the ice cream coif and how he came to be, or if you're looking for a new summer career, click here.
I still remember the hot, summer day my best friend, Valli, and I were sitting behind some pine trees in her backyard when we heard Mister Softee comin' down our street...and we plotted how we would put tacks under the unsuspecting Mister Softee's tires, and then, when he was out of the truck changing the flats, we'd jump in and steal all the ice cream. But that would be a horrible story to tell at this time of year when we're all trying to stay off Santa's Naughty List.
Sadly, in recent years, some folks who found Mister Softee's jingle to be repetitively and screechingly annoying, were trying to get someone -- anyone -- to come up with a new Mister Softee jingle. I find that idea abhorrent at best. I mean, it ain't violin music, that's true...But if, like me, you can still hum the jingle, and hearing it immediately takes you back to a simpler, more innocent and carefree time of your life, well...There could never be another, or better, Mister Softee jingle. Never.
Yes, remembrance, like a candle, burns brightest at Christmastime.
So now, for your nostalgic viewing pleasure...a real live Mister Softee singing the Mister Softee jingle...
(Disclaimer! I have not viewed the other Mister Softee videos that accompany this one...watch the others at your own risk...)
Merry Christmas and Happy Memories to all...and to all, a goodnight.
MY KIND OF GROCERY SHOPPING
Our local grocery store -- Frohlich's (tho' those in-the-know refer to it lovingly as "The Fro") -- cranked their annual Christmas open house up a notch this a.m. by offering a little wine with their cheese cubes, cookies, crackers and delectable spinach dip...
I just happened to drop by The Fro to pick up a few things when someone nudged me and said "Wine and cheese in the back room!"
"Hey, Helen, it's 5 o'clock somewhere!" I joked, winking at one of the elegant elderly church ladies peeking into the back room as I tossed back my second little cup of a delightful sweet red wine called Autumn Hush.
Note to self: Drink more wine in the new year...
Sunday, December 09, 2007
My Grown Up Christmas List...
Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies
Well, I'm all grown up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream
So here's my lifelong wish
My grown up christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal the heart
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up Christmas list
As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath the tree
But heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
Oh, This is my grown up christmas list
What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown up christmas list
This is my only life long wish
This is my grown up christmas list
Just Not Feelin' It This Year
Heavy, weary sigh.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
WHO'S THAT GIRL?
Who IS that girl?
Certainly, she can't be the same pale, tired, emotionally-drained bag-lady-like hag who just this a.m. was donned in an oversized winter coat, a bright orange winter hat and snowman jammies with a green clay facial mask smeared over her line-etched face who was swearing (and holding on to her dog's leash for dear life) as that damnable rat terrier dragged the ol' life-worn gal slip slidin' away around the frozen Iowa tundra, also known as "the front yard."
Alas, sadly, she is one in the same.
Slip slidin' away,
Slip slidin' away
You know the nearer your destination
You're only slip slidin' away...
Friday, November 30, 2007
BOB...THEN, NOW, FOREVAH
Or, maybe he didn't ask me....maybe, due to my delusions of grandeur, I just started calling him Bob to infer our special, best-buds relationship...whatever...
Friday, November 23, 2007
Helena Shernana, This Blog's For YOU!
By David Von Pein (Mooresville, Indiana; USA) -
Meowy Christmas
10. Up on the Mousetop
9. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
8. Joy to the Curled
7. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
6. The First Meow
5. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
4. Silent Mice
3. Fluffy, the Snowman
2. Jingle Balls
And Cats' No. 1 Favorite Christmas Song:
1. Wreck The Halls
Here We Go A'Squandering...
evade frazzled shoppers who from all different wealths,
squander the numbered heartbeats of their lives
to search for bargains planted cleverly
near high-margin impulse racks."
Yes, I went to Wal-Mart today.
I NEVER go Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving.
But I did today.
Not at the crack of dawn like all the nut-so malls were inviting people to do. I went about 10 a.m. Drove 30 flippin' miles...what a spectacle...
Talked to one of the sales associates...he said people were running and yelling through the doors at 5 a.m. One customer even pulled a sales associate's hair to get her attention...
What a world, what a world...what a sick, materialistic world...
Why do we even bother with Thanksgiving?
Soon, we will just skip the day of giving thanks and rush right into the Christmas h0liday the day after Labor Day...
All I really wanted to do was scout out a few ideas for DJ...Santa has to really watch his pennies this year...like every year...geeze, all the folks hauling out big ol' flat screen tvs and other junk...cha-ching, cha-ching goes the credit cards
Not us. It's cash or nuthin' this year.
All I want for Christmas is an hour-long therapeutic massage...maybe the whole hour just spent on my aching feet...or my neck...yeah, my neck
Or maybe a bottle of that $10 mascara remover from Target...Sonja whatsername...splurge a little...Or maybe a bottle of body mist, with the matching shower gel and lotion, let's see, what is the scent? Sensual Amber? Yeah...from Bath and Body Works...
Santa, are you reading my blog? LOL
A girl can dream, can't she?
Anyway, after I got home from the Wal-Mart Black Friday Shopping Debacle, I soothed by soul by playing my late mother's Christmas albums...I remember listening to those 33 RPMS while decorating the livingroom in our house on Buckeye Crescent in good ol' Madeira, OH.
But back to Thanksgiving
John really knocked himself out with the meal this year...yes, that's right. John makes the meal. I set the table and do the dishes...I am the envy of many a woman who has to slave away the entire Turkey Day while hubby and the other men in the fam sit around watching football...
Speaking of football...What a laughable Happy Thanksgiving "greeting" from the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders...anybody else catch that? LOL
And must the "easy listening" radio stations start playing the 24/7 Christmas carols a week before Thanksgiving?
I mean, how much "Feliz Navidad" can one person really enjoy?
And must they play Dan Fogelberg's "Another Old Lang Syne" five times a day? arghghghghghghgh...
"Met my old lover at the grocery store....the snow was falling Christmas Eve.... blah, blah, blah..."
LOL
Yup. It's the holiday season...
Pass me the Prozac and the sugar cookies, please.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
EMBRACING THE CHANGE
I mean, traditionally, one associates "menopause" with only icky things like searing, sweaty hot flashes, rollercoaster mood swings, and aging, adle-brained crones with black, coarse chin whiskers that would make a broom envious...i.e, anything BUT wisdom.
Au contraire!
Thanks to my friend Nancy and her wise choice to read "The Wisdom of Menopause", and her generous offer to loan me the groundbreaking classic, I am learning that, according to author Christiane Northrup, M.D., the infamous "change" that we women often dread and fear is not merely a plethora of perplexing physical symptoms to be "fixed" but (and I quote from the back cover), "a mind-body revolution that brings the greatest opportunity for growth since adolescence."
(Ah, yes, adolescence...a positively riveting -- not to mention hormonally and emotionally devastating -- time in a young girl's life... but I digress...)
According to the good doc, the choices a woman makes NOW -- from the quality of her relationships to the quality of her diet -- have the power to secure vibrant health and well-being for the rest of her life.
(Yikes! Relationships and diet...not exactly my strong suits thus far...)
Yes, Dr. Northrup maintains that women can "make menopause a time of personal empowerment and positive energy, and emerge wiser, healthier and stronger in both mind and body than ever before."
What the heck...I'm totally in.
I swear I am going to read this book cover to cover, and soak up every bit of menopausal insight I can...
For starters, I'm absolutely inspired and energized just by the book's dedication: "This book is dedicated to the pioneering spirit embodied in the women of the baby boom generation."
Amen to that, sisters! Right on!
And the first chapter, "Menopause Puts Your Life Under A Microscope" is a real eye-opener. From there, the book covers everything from "Embracing the Message of our Menopausal Anger" (Angry? Who? Me? Surely, you jest...) and "The Menopause Food Plan: A Program to Balance Your Hormones and Prevent Middle-Age Spread" to "Testosterone: The Hormone of Desire?" and "Nurturing Your Brain: Sleep, Depression and Memory"
I really think this book will be life-changing...if only I could stay awake long enough after supper to read more than a dozen pages at a time...and if I could just remember where I put my glasses...
I wonder if there's a chapter addressing women who wake up every morning about 2 a.m., wide awake and rarin' to go, and blog till 3 a.m. -- and then can't wake up to save their souls when it's time to get ready for work...
The good news is, it's SATURDAY! Yay! I don't have to go to work! Instead, I'll be having coffee and a homemade sweet roll at In The Dough with my friend Nancy...
What's that, Dr. Northrup? Read page 220, "How To Quell Your Sugar Cravings"? Oh. And Page 316? Avoid caffeine?
Heavy sigh.
And so the journey to physical and emotional health during "The Change" begins.
Stay tuned.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
WHAT A GIRL WANTS, WHAT A GIRL NEEDS...
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
WOULDA, COULDA, SHOULDA
There's no friend like an old college friend when it comes to the uncanny ability to instantly whisk you down memory lane to a younger, less-encumbered, more carefree time of life...like, say, when you were in your early 20s...
(Oh, by the way, that's a pic of my freshman dorm, Boyd Hall, at Ohio University in Athens...some very fond memories...)
Anyway...my friend and I were catching up with each other's lives and I was sharing some tidbits about my recent fun trip to Minneapolis to visit my 23-year-old niece. I noted how confident, energetic, and rarin' to take on the world my niece is...and how, at the ripe ol' and somewhat tired and disillusioned age of 51, I am downright envious of her. How I wish I had her verve.
"You had that when you were her age," my friend said.
"I did?" I asked. "Really? I don't remember..."
"Yeah, you did," my friend said.
I just don't remember feeling vervy.
I mean, I remember wanting to become the next Erma Bombeck, and being jazzed about graduating from journalism school...but I was never one of those gutsty j-school students who lived and breathed journalism and bravely embarked on exciting summer internships to Tel Aviv or even Cleveland.
I wrote a few horribly boring pieces for the Athens Messenger...and I was a copy editor for The Post, the Ohio University newspaper.
Yippy Skippy.
And then I moved to Carroll, Iowa, for cryin' out loud, after graduation.
How safe and very non-vervy.
"But you wanted to be near your family, your sister," my friend gently reminded me.
Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten my reasoning...it's all coming back to me now...
Actually, I had intended to live and work in Davenport (where my sister resided) that summer after graduation , send out resumes and eventually land a writing job back in Ohio. Back to my beloved Cincinnati...maybe write a humor column for The Cincinnati Enquirier...write the Great American Novel...
I never made it back to the Queen City.
I snagged a daily newspaper job in Carroll (my only job offer), ended up getting married, pursued my writing career here and there about The Tall Corn State... and the rest, as they say is history...
Bottom line is -- to quote from one of my favorite movies, The Way We Were -- "We make our choices, and then our choices make us." (Thank you, Babs Streisand.)
The thing is, for all sorts of reasons, life often just happens, just sort of unfolds serendipitously before us, in spite of our plans, intentions or true desires.
And that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Nearly 30 years later, tho, as one stands a bit past the mid-mile marker on life's rocky road, staring down what's left of the not-so-long homestretch, one can't help but ponder now and then -- particularly after a surprise phone call from an old college friend -- what if I woulda? I coulda...maybe I shoulda...
If I'd only had the verve...
Sunday, November 04, 2007
LEAF RAKING AND WHY I DO IT
And who needs more guilt?
Besides, I love the crisp fall air, the feel of gardening gloves and a rake in my hand...tho I don't care much for the ever-predictable blister that shows up between my thumb and index finger even if I wear said gardening gloves...
Actually, truth be told, I think I'm ditching the rake this year and using my neighbor Jeff's bagger/mower. It will still take me all day to sweep the lawn free of those pesky-once-colorful-and-charming-now-brown-and-dead leaves. But at least I won't have a blister at the end of the day. Plus my lawn -- or haven of Creeping Charlie, if you will -- will be trimmed one last time before the cold Iowa wind blows in its first snowstorm. That is, of course, if global warming hasn't done away with the snow entirely...
If I were truly energetic -- and I am a tad more energetic than usual due to that LOVELY extra hour of sleep gained by turning our clocks back last night...I would drag out the ladder and hang the Christmas lights after I've "raked" the leaves...you know, take advantage of the nice fall weather...
Granted, it is more fun to wait till just before Thanksgiving and watch John battle the take-your-breath-away Iowa chill and tornado-like high winter winds while balancing precariously atop a ladder as he attempts to position the tiny little brackets that clasp the twinkling white icicle lights to the gutter...
But, let's face it...John is getting a little long in the tooth (as we all are) and perhaps its time for young Mr. Daniel to inherit the yearly Christmas lights debacle, er, duty . And it really does make more sense to put up the damn, I mean, beautiful, lights on a beautiful day.
Hey, and maybe, while I am hauling the leaves to the lagoon (or the dump, or wherever I'm supposed to take them), and Daniel is hanging Christmas lights, John could grab the ol' hairdryer and the recently purchased window insulation kits and install those oh-so-attractive and allegedly see-through shrink film insulates over our oh-so-old-and-rather-non-energy-efficient windows.
(BTW, despite my promise that we were not turning on the furnace this winter in an effort to thwart the "blood-sucking municipal utility people" (as I so kindly refer to them the day I get my monthly bill), and regardless of my vow that we'd be wearing coats, hats, gloves, and towels wrapped around our faces to stave off nose hair freezing at bedtime, we have, alas, turned on the furnace. But it's set only at 60. And from there it will not budge. Not one degree. Or else, the wrath of Mommy Dearest will be unleashed.)
Now where was I?
Oh, yes. I feel a family work day coming on...
Wait...oh, drat.
What was I thinking? John and Daniel are going over to Grandma's to watch football this afternoon and evening...silly me...
Looks like it's just me and the leaves and the lagoon...the Christmas lights and shrink wrap will have to wait.
Oh, well...I hear the lagoon is lovely this time of year...
Hark! What's that noise?
Omigod! It's the leaf blower! I take back what I said...John and Daniel, it seems, are doing their part to rid the lawn of leaves before they go to Grandmama's for an afternoon of football...
Hmm...guilt must've gotten the better of them...more than likely it was John's picturing me attempting to drive the neighbor's pick-up truck, packed full with leaves, to the dump.
Tee-hee.
Guess guilt is a good thing sometimes...
Friday, November 02, 2007
I (Still) Got The Music In Me
And it goes something like this....
"I...believe...the world...is coming to an end", la, la, la, so forth and so on.
But is it really any more depressing than that classic from back in the day that goes something like this...
"Dust in the wind...all we are is dust in the wind" la, la, la, so forth and so on...
I mean, for cryin' out loud, I bought the damn album my sophomore year in college (or was it my junior year?) and listened to Dust in The Wind over and over again...they should have handed out Prozac with each album sold....
Not that the sound track from The Way We Were was any cheerier...I used to cry myself to sleep to that ol' 33 RPM...LOL...
Or how about the movie Beaches? How 'bout ol Wind Beneath My Wings? How many times in a row did I watch that tear jerker?How many times did I play that rip-your-heart-out song on my cassette recorder, huh?
Holy Cow...
And as long as I'm blogging about sad, silly sentimental songs and such...
Seems there's a lot of Bob Seger playing during the day on the classic rock station that's on now and then at work...Someday lady you'll accompany me, blah, blah, blah...Down on Main Street...Turn The Page, yada, yada, yada...
Enough, already.
Yeah, that's Bob way down and over on the right in my blog sidebar (down past my boyfriend Johnny Depp)...I captioned Bob's pic "Ear Candy" last summer when I resdesigned my blog after my cinci vacation. I used to LOVE Bob Seeger. I used to LOVE the sound of his scraggly, shall-we-say somewhat hillbilly-ish voice.
Well, make sure and take another gander down there at ol' Bob.
LOL.
I dunno. Guess my taste in music has just simply changed. Bob just doesn't speak to me anymore (snooty sniff, hands on hips, nose up in the air).
In fact, if I never hear another Bob Seger song again the rest of my life, it will be too soon. I'm even considering regifting my Bob Seger's Greatest Hits CD this Christmas...(along with the Songs and Songwriters of the 70s CD set that someone once gave me...retro-schmetro.)
LOL.
Give me kickin-a Gwen Stefani any day of the week...
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl...
I'll give that song a 10, Dick. It's got a beat, and you can dance to it.
And, like my heroes the Dixie Chicks once sang...
Sometimes ya gotta dance.
IT"S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR
This Saturday night is THE most wonderful time of the year because -- ta-da! Daylight Savings Time comes to an end, we get to set our clocks back, and we all get one whole extra hour of SLEEP!
YAY!
I will savor all 60 beautiful extra minutes in ZZZZ-Town...
Sleep and chocolate -- two things -- the only things -- I crave these days...
Perhaps I'll celebrate Daylight Savings Time's end by nibbling on some Peanut M&Ms...
Speaking of Peanut M&Ms...
It was "Ghouls Gone Wild" on our street this Halloween...
OK, maybe more like "Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun"...
At any rate, there were lots and lots of ADORABLE little ghosts, goblins, bees, fairies, dinosaurs, super heroes and the like combing the neighborhood for treats...
Noticed, however, that kids rarely actually say "Trick or Treat" any more...they just hold out their bags and expect you to toss the sugary loot in without a word...
"What do you say?" I asked those who attempted to forgo the traditional Halloween greeting...
"Please?" they'd respond, staring at me, as though totally confused, as they held open their bags.
"How 'bout 'Trick or Treat?" I'd offer back.
"Oh, yeah, Trick or Treat!" they'd giggle.
Ya know, back in the day, when candy was a true treat instead of a main staple in kids' diets, I think Halloween was more fun, or meant more....
I, as family tradition holds, handed out treats by myself..Daniel fashioned himself too old to help...and John did his usual disappearing act -- this year he conveniently had to fix a leak in his mom's kitchen faucet.
I think he was traumatized somehow by trick-o-treaters back in the day...
Whatever.
And I, as tradition also holds, ate more peanut M&Ms than I handed out..
Two mini bags for me, one for the kiddies...
Hey, don't forget to set those clocks back!
More rambling to come...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
UPTOWN GIRLS
When my Sis said it was going to be a Thelma and Louise weekend, she wasn't kidding...
We hit the road at 6:30 a.m., bookin' it to Uptown Minneapolis from Des Moines in my sister's (surprise!) new sporty convertible...we crank the tunes way up, starting with the soundtrack from Thelma & Louise, of course...
I felt it when the sun came up this morning
I knew I could not wait another day
Darling, there is something I must tell you
A distant voice is calling me away...
Until we find a bridge across forever
Until this grand illusion brings us home
You and I will always be together
From this day on you`ll never walk alone...
You`re a part of me, I`m a part of you
Wherever we may travel
Whatever we go through
Whatever time may take away
It cannot change the way we feel today
So hold me close and say you feel it, too...
You`re a part of me, and I`m a part of you...
Highlights: A cuppa joe from Caribou Coffee in Des Moines...a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit (my fave) from Mickey D's in Story City... a strawberry slushy from Kwik Trip (can't remember where we were), lots of gabbing and laughing and singin' along to some great old tunes...I mean, we are beltin' 'em out...
Whenever I'm with him
Something inside
Starts to burning
And I'm filled with desire...
Could it be the devil in me
Or is this the way love's supposed to be?
It's like a heat wave
Burning in my heart
Can't keep from crying
It's tearing me apart...
It feels so good to get the heck out of Iowa... it feels even better to be hangin' with my Sis, actually doing something OTHER than going to a family funeral (our usual reason for a road trip). Not that we don't have fun together, whatever the reason...
Like the time we were driving to Michigan to visit our ailing dad (who, we had just found out, was dying from cancer) and we passed a road sign for The Sapp Brothers Truck Stop.
"Hey, the Sapp Brothers...I think I dated one of them in college," I quipped.
Ba-da-bump.
My niece's older, third-floor one-bedroom apartment is too cool for words...big windows looking out onto the bustling, eclectic Uptown Minneapolis neighborhood...grocery store, coffee shops, bars, restaurants a hop, skip and a jump from her front door...
Lunch at Stella's, outside, on the rooftop...breathtaking view of the downtown Minneapolis skyline and the best tuna melt sandwich and garlic mashed potatoes I have EVER tasted...not to mention the thirst-quenching ever-popular Stella's Purple Mojito...
Nibblin on sponge cake
Watchin the sun bake
All of those tourists covered with oil
Strummin my six-string
On my front porch swing
Smell those shrimp they're beginnin' to boil...
Wastin away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt...
Words of wit from the wall at Stella's: "Don't pity the lobster...it lives to kill."
LOL.
A two-block stroll after lunch takes us to Lake Calhoun...folks roller blading, riding bikes, sail boating, jogging and walking around the lake...oh, golly, the leaves are so beautiful here...reminds me why I love autumn...
We meander back toward Liz's apartment...she treats us to (surprise!) birthday manicures at reVamp, a trendy salon, followed by an exciting and educational ride in the Flour Tower at the historical Mill City Museum in downtown Minneapolis...
And suddenly it hits me...I have not had this much fun since Cincinnati...
I come home in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna live your life right
Oh, mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
And girls they want to have fun
Oh, girls just want to have fun...
The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells what you gonna do with your life
Oh, daddy dear you know you're still number one
But girls they want to have fun
Oh, girls just want to have -
That's all they really want
Some fun...
When the working day is done
Oh, girls they want to have fun
Oh, girls just want to have fun...
Later, back at the apartment, we relax for a while...I gaze out the windows, soaking up the late-afternoon ambience of Uptown Minneapolis...it's just so absolutely teeming with activity, with life...possibilities...I love it here. I could live here...
Correction.
I could've lived here. Once upon a time...
Suddenly, sirens scream.
A bedraggled bearded man stands, sorta stooped, on the street corner, a small, scribbled cardboard sign hangs from his scrawny neck..."Anything will help..."
I think, "There but for the grace of God go I..."
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best.
We freshen our faces, fluff our hair, and off we go to Bar Abilene, just down the street, for an evening of dining and more girl talk...
As you brush your shoes
And stand before the mirror
And you comb your hair
And grab your coat and hat
And you walk, wet streets,
Tryin to remember
All the wild night breezes
In your memory ever.
And evrything looks so complete
When you're walkin out on the street
And the wind catches your feet
And sends you flyin, cryin
Ooh-wee! The wild night is calling...
We could talk-- and laugh -- all night. I love my sis and my niece so much...I want to freeze this moment, this perfect moment...
I don't wanna be the one who's old before their time
And lose the wonder that I felt as a child
I can't run this race believing I might lose
There's still so much to see, so much left to do
Yes, I'll fall before I fly
But no one can say I never tried
Oh, we just get one ride around the sun
In this dream of time
It goes so fast
And one day we look back
And we ask, Was that my life?
I close my eyes and think how lucky I have been
To hold the ones I love, and share my dreams with them
All those sunny days and all those starry skys
Good Morning kisses and sweet Good Nights
I can't tell them enough
Just how much they are loved...
Well, I gotta get some sleep...if I can get to sleep...
What a great day...
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Oh, Joy Is Me!
WOW!
It was great feeling like this blog was part of something BIG...and meaningful...something that maybe, just maybe, made people take a minute or two and think about the the environment environment and what steps we can take to save the earth.
You may just be amazed.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Happy Birthday, Sis!
So goes the quote in one of my "Sisters" keepsake books that my very own sister -- OK, I still call her Sissy at times -- gave me for my 50th birthday last year.
I was thumbing through that book recently because A) I was actually dusting the bookshelf it sits on and B) my Sis and I turn a year older this month (she, of course, being the older sister by, ahem, eight years), and I began reflecting on growing older.
In fact, my sis's birthday is today!
I had to chuckle about the sisters and phonebills saying because no one knows how to run up a phone bill like me, and nobody knows that better than my dear Sis.
"If you ever feel homesick, just call me collect," she said to me after dropping me off at my freshman college dorm at Ohio University back in '75.
And so I did.
That poor gal was swimming in long distance phone bills before my first three weeks of my first year of college had passed.
Hey, what can I say? I missed my Sissy.
She has always been there for me...
Through thick and thin (and every fad diet we have ever tried)...
In good times and bad (like cleaning out our dad's house after he died...it was the worst of times, and yet, it turned out to be one of the most hilarious sisterly bonding experiences we've ever had...hard to explain unless you knew our dad...ah, hell, unless you knew our whole family...let's just say me and my Sis know how to put the "fun" back in dysfunctional)...
In sickness and in health ( I always waited to get sick until I was home from college for the holidays, and my Sis was right there with the chicken soup, the crackers, the 7-Up)...
Indeed, a sister -- my sister -- has been a constant source of strength, wisdom, comfort and pride.
A sister always knows when to bring tissues and when to bring champaigne...or tissues and a pitcher of margaritas at the same time...whatever it takes...
Sisters allow you the joy of becoming an aunt...although, when my niece and nephew were little, and after spending a weekend with them, I'd always feel like doubling up on my birth control pills (an old, standing joke between me and my Sis).
In fact, this weekend, my Sis and I are taking off for Minneapolis to visit my niece...
A Thelma and Louise weekend to celebrate our birthdays (mine is next week), although my Sis promises we're not going to rob or shoot anyone, and we definitely are coming back...we're just getting out of town, playin' our favorite tunes, and doing what we do best -- gabbing and laughing.
Ah, yes...the older you get, the more fun it is to have a sister...
It's true, you know.
A sister is a forever friend.
And I thank God for her.
Happy Birthday, Sis! I love you!
Monday, October 15, 2007
IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE ME...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 3.9 planets.
Yikes.
That's according to the "How Big Is Your Footprint?" quiz I answered recently on earthday.net in preparation for today, Blog Action Day, when thousands of bloggers across the world are posting about one very important issue: the environment.
The political activist in me, of course, jumped at the chance to participate in Blog Action Day. And I immediately considered regaling Home Stretch readers with some of my fondest memories from my one and only semi-recent environmental "crusade"...
Some Stuart bloggers may still remember my non-stop newspaper coverage of the Adair County Iowa Citizens for Community Improvement's (ICCI) successful -- and history-making -- campaign a few years back to keep a large, smelly, non-environmentally friendly hog confinement from being built in Stuart. Who knew that there was so much to know about the wrong way and the right way to complete and submit manure management plans?
It occurred to me, however, that it is always easy to point fingers at the large Confined Animal Feeding Operation (CAFO) folks, and other big corporate industries that are regularly contributing to the destruction of our environment yet ignore what we, as indiviuals, are doing in our daily lives to make environmental matters worse.
I mean, is it enough to recycle empty Gatorade bottles and turn off the water while I brush my teeth? Or is there more I can do to live a "green" life? Just how much "nature" does my lifestyle require?
So I took the "How Big Is Your Footprint" Quiz, which estimates how much productive land and water you and I need to support what we use and what we discard.
After answering 15 easy questions, here is what I learned:
*My ecological footprint, based on my quiz results, is 17 acres.
*The average ecological footprint in the United States is 24 acres per person.
*Worldwide, there exists 4.5 biologically productive acres per person.
Thus, like I said at the beginning of this post, if everyone lived like me, we would need 3.9 planets.
Yikes.
That's not good. Especially for a woman who once insisted on using cloth bags for hauling home groceries when I went Krogering (back in my Cinci days) and who encouraged Daniel to hug trees when he was little (thank you, Sesame Street).
So what in the world can we do do to live a greener, more environmentally-sound life?
According to the William J. Clinton Foundation:
For every mile you ride your bike instead of driving a car, you avoid the production of about one pound of carbon dioxide. ( I have been riding my bike now and then since I am sans my own car.)
Switch from liquid detergents to powders. Laundry liquids are mostly water (approx. 80%). It costs energy and packaging to bring this water to the consumer. (That's not a hard switch to make...but what about Downey? I LOVE Downey...)
Get tough on tissues. If every household in the U.S. replaced one box of 85 sheet virgin fiber facial tissues with 100% recycled ones, we could save: 87,700 trees, 226,500 cubic feet of landfill space ( equal to 330 full garbage trucks), 31 million gallons of water (Annual supply for 240 families of four), and avoid 5,300 pounds of pollution! Buy only recycled paper products for your office, bathroom and kitchen. (Again, not too tough to do.)
Keep your water heater thermostat no higher than 120°F. Save 550 lbs. of carbon dioxide and $30 per year. Talk to your building or condo manager to upgrade the efficiency of the boiler in your building to magnify the savings. (Sounds like a job for John.)
Replace 3 frequently used light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs. This will save approximately 300 lbs. of carbon dioxide and $60 per year. (Another "honey do" job for John.)
Mowing for an hour with a gasoline- powered lawn mower can produce as much air pollution as a 350-mile drive in a car. Consider this alternative which emits nothing other than clippings and burns calories too: push a lightweight reel mower. (Oh, c'mon Bill...you've got to be kidding...)
Conserve fuel by turning down the heat at night and while you are away from your home — or install a programmable thermostat. Setting the airconditioning thermostat in your building to 76 degrees in the summer will dramatically reduce your electricity bill and you'll do your bit to save energy and the environment. (I've already vowed that we will be wearing hats, coats, gloves to bed and wrapping our faces in towels so nose hairs don't freeze in order to avoid having to pay those blood-sucking municipal utility people any more money than I already have to this winter...)
Buy products with less packaging and recycle paper, plastic and glass. You can save around 1,000 lbs. of carbon dioxide per year by reducing, reusing and recycling. (Can-do. Tho' I must confess that lately I have been lazy and tossing the aforementioned empty Gatorade bottles in the trash...my bad.)
According to the EPA, from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day, household waste increases by more than 25 percent due to holiday gift-giving. When wrapping gifts, remember to recycle and reuse. Also whenever possible use 100% post-consumer recycled paper when printing and save approximately 5 lbs. of carbon dioxide per ream of paper. (Oh, puh-leez...don't even talk about the holidays...)
Run your dishwasher only with a full load. Save approximately 100 lbs. of carbon dioxide and $40 per year. Why not set it to eco-mode to save even more energy and water? (Dishwasher? What dishwasher? That old brown piece of decaying metal that sits in my kitchen? Hah. We don't use no stinkin' dishwasher... we do it the old fashioned way...Lemon Joy and a little elbow grease...)